Expectation Exchange

Purpose

The Expectation Exchange makes invisible expectations visible. Team members write down what they expect from each other and from leadership, then compare. Mismatches are surfaced and resolved before they become frustration or conflict.

At a glance

How to run

1. Individual writing (7 min): Each person writes: (a) What I expect from my teammates, (b) What I expect from my manager/leader, (c) What I think my teammates expect from me. One expectation per sticky note.
2. Post and cluster (8 min): All notes go on a shared board, organised by target (team, leader, self). Cluster similar expectations.
3. Mismatch hunting (10 min): Compare "What I expect from you" with "What I think you expect from me." Where are the gaps? Discuss the biggest mismatches.
4. Align and agree (3 min): For each significant mismatch, agree on one clarification or adjustment.
5. Close (2 min): Each person names one expectation that is now clearer.

Materials needed

• Sticky notes and markers
• Shared board with three sections (Team, Leader, Self)
• Timer

Pitfalls & common mistakes

• Staying too polite: Encourage honest, specific expectations, not vague niceties.
• Ignoring upward expectations: Including "expectations of leadership" is essential and often the most revealing.
• No resolution step: Surfacing mismatches without addressing them increases frustration.
• One-time exercise: Run at key transitions: new team, new project, new manager.

Inclusion & accessibility

• Allow private writing before public posting.
• Use a digital board for remote participants.
• Ensure the exercise is bidirectional (including expectations of leadership, not just peer-to-peer).
• Let people write in their preferred language.

Variations

• New joiner version: Run on day 1 for a new team member and their team.
• Manager-report version: A 1-on-1 expectation exchange between manager and direct report.
• Cross-team version: Exchange expectations between two teams that depend on each other.

When NOT to use this

• When expectations are dictated by policy and cannot be negotiated.
• When the team has unresolved resentment that needs mediation before expectation-setting.
• When leadership is not in the room and expectations of them cannot be addressed.

Source & further reading

• Patrick Lencioni, *The Advantage* (Jossey-Bass, 2012)
• Kim Scott, *Radical Candor* (St. Martin’s Press, 2017)
• Edgar Schein, *Humble Inquiry* (Berrett-Koehler, 2013)