Helping Heuristics

Purpose

Helping Heuristics teaches participants to become better helpers and help-seekers by practising different modes of offering assistance. Based on Edgar Schein's research, it distinguishes between coaching, advising, and simply listening — helping people match their response to what is actually needed. Use it when teams default to unsolicited advice-giving, or when a culture of genuine mutual support needs strengthening.

At a glance

• Group size: 6–40 people
• Duration: 20 minutes
• Difficulty: Beginner
• Facilitation style: Structured
• Setting: Indoor / Remote-friendly

How to run

1. Introduce the heuristics (3 min): Present the modes of helping: quiet presence, coaching questions, content advice, active listening, reframing.
2. Pair practice round 1 (6 min): Person A shares a challenge. Person B responds using only one designated helping mode (e.g., coaching questions only). Switch after 3 minutes.
3. Pair practice round 2 (6 min): New pairs, new helping mode.
4. Debrief (5 min): What felt natural? What was hardest? When is each mode most useful?

Materials needed

• Helping-mode cards or a poster showing the modes
• Timer

Pitfalls & common mistakes

• Defaulting to advice-giving regardless of the assigned mode — the constraint is the learning.
• Treating it as role-play — use real (if minor) challenges for authentic practice.
• Rushing the debrief — the meta-awareness is the point.

Inclusion & accessibility

• The pair format is safe and intimate.
• Provide written descriptions of each helping mode for reference.
• Allow quiet reflection time between rounds for people who need processing time.

Variations

• Helping Heuristics fishbowl: One pair practises in front of the group; observers note which mode is being used.
• Helping Heuristics + Troika: Combine with Troika Consulting, where consultants consciously choose their helping mode.
• Self-assessment: After the exercise, each person identifies their default mode and one they want to develop.

When NOT to use this

Avoid Helping Heuristics when the group needs to solve an urgent problem collectively — the method focuses on interpersonal skill-building rather than problem-solving.

Source & further reading

Based on Edgar Schein's *Helping* (2009). Adapted as a Liberating Structure by Henri Lipmanowicz and Keith McCandless. See liberatingstructures.com.