Highs and Lows

Purpose

Highs and Lows is a simple check-in that invites participants to share one positive and one challenging moment from their recent experience. It builds empathy, surfaces emotions, and helps the facilitator gauge the group's mood. Unlike purely positive openers, it normalises struggle and creates psychological safety.

At a glance

• Group size: 4–20
• Duration: 10 minutes
• Difficulty: Easy
• Facilitation style: Round-robin sharing
• Setting: In-person or virtual

How to run

1. Explain the format: each person shares one "high" (a positive moment) and one "low" (a challenge) from the past week.
2. Model it yourself first to set the tone and depth.
3. Go around the group. Allow 30–45 seconds per person.
4. Acknowledge each share with a nod or brief thanks — do not try to solve anyone's low.
5. Close by noting any patterns and transitioning to the session content.

Materials needed

• None

Pitfalls & common mistakes

• Trying to fix lows: This is a check-in, not a therapy session. Acknowledge without problem-solving.
• No modelling: If the facilitator skips their own share, participants don't know the expected depth.
• Too much time per person: In groups over 15, strict time-boxing is essential.
• Only surface-level shares: If everyone says "my high is coffee," gently invite more depth.

Inclusion & accessibility

• No physical activity — works for all abilities.
• Virtual-friendly: participants can type in chat if speaking is uncomfortable.
• Be aware that some participants may be going through genuinely hard times — keep the atmosphere supportive.
• Respect if someone prefers to share only a high or only a low.

Variations

• Rose, Thorn, Bud: Add a "bud" — something you are looking forward to.
• Highs and Lows + Lesson: Add what you learned from the low.
• One-word version: Each person gives one word for their high and one for their low.

When NOT to use this

• When the group doesn't have enough trust for emotional sharing.
• In very large groups (30+) where round-robin takes too long.
• Immediately after bad news that affects the whole group.

Source & further reading

• Commonly used in Agile retrospectives, family dinner traditions, and coaching circles.
• Also known as "Peaks and Valleys" or "Rose and Thorn."